Spread your wings, fly, soar, explore and enjoy the world.

Please slow the clock.

2006-05-07T11:08:00.000-04:00

I've been completely avoiding discussing the difficulty in learning to let go - which was supposed to be the point of this blog. It appears that the last few months have flown by in a flash and the time is quickly approaching when Z will dash out to spread his wings, fly, explore and enjoy the world - AWAY FROM HOME! And S is trying hard to do the same.

Z started his IB Exams last week. The first higher level English paper went ok. Afer the first 1/3 of higher level calculus, he looked at me and said "That was ugly, (pause) but I think I passed." He looked dejected. I felt sick and had no words to say that would offer comfort. I knew it was only the beginning of a long two weeks of very grueling academic exams. He should be so proud of himself. I marvel at the kids in this program.

Friday he was allowed out of school early to prepare for prom. We went to the tailor to pick up the tuxedo. Of course she hadn't done the alterations for the jacket so we went and had lunch (I didn't let him have the garlic oil on the calzone because I was thinking of his date later - OMG there I go again with the control issue) and then went back to the tailor and picked up the tuxedo to take home. We went to a few hair salons to see if anyone could braid his hair in corn rows but none of them had a staff member available. We picked up the corsage and put it in the 'fridge at home. Shortly before being ready to leave for prom, he noticed there was blood in several places on his shirt (perhaps from shaving?). You have to love the Clorox pen for emergencies like that. I dropped him off at his prom date's house, asked to quickly take a few pictures and then hurried out of there and left him to enjoy himself with his date. They looked so nice. A group of friends went out to a special dinner and then they all went to the prom. Sorry about the blurred pic but his date slipped her arms around Z's arm and here's the corsage.

Yesterday Z went to grad night at Disney. I tried to dissuade him from going as almost all of his friends chose not to go. I didn't want him walking around Disney alone from 7:00 p.m. to 3:00 a.m. I said I didn't mind losing the money we spent for the ticket. He loaded his pockets with cliff bars, pump, glucose meter, glucose tabs, wallet and slipped a FRIO wallet with insulin/syringes/spare prefilled cartridge and a spare infusion set onto his belt. He said I didn't need to worry, that he'll be fine. He mentioned I'm going to end up with a heart attack with all my worrying. I was flipping out on one side and knew full well he was right and he had to go and enjoy himself and make the choice to go. He's 18. Maybe it was all symbolic of him going off to school alone that got me in the gut.

The truth is, he's a very responsible young man and he really is fully prepared to be on his own. I'm the one with the issues!

So while my 18 year old with diabetes was wandering around Disney with thousands of high school seniors from around Florida, my 16 year old daughter had a full day. She drove herself and friends to lunch. Later she had to be driven to a friend's house because they were all going out to Melting Pot to celebrate that friend's birthday. After the dinner party she asked to be picked up and brought home to change clothes and then go to a bar/grill restaurant to listen to her friend's band play. I asked her to be home at 11:30 p.m. which she states she never heard. I called her repeatedly starting at 11:45. At 12:15 a.m. she told me they were going to Steak and Shake, to which I said "no you are not, come home now." That was ignored. She waltzed into the house at 12:55 a.m. Was I unhappy?!!! 30 minutes later she answered her cell phone and I told her to get off the phone. Then she told me the kid who was driving was in an accident and is not breathing. She was visibly upset and we tried to find the kid's home number but didn't have it. Then she was called again and told it was a joke, that they had had a minor accident but there was just a little bleeding. My adrenaline was pumping. I didn't get to sleep much before 3:00 a.m. I took away her phone and her Internet access. But how stupid is that? It's all I can control? She's a good kid. She doesn't take drugs, or get drunk. Now how do I give it back without looking like an #%? She does need to follow some rules.

Zack called us at 6:45 a.m. and said his bus would arrive back at the school at 7:15 so we should pick him up. My husband went and picked him up and Z is safely sound asleep. S is on the couch safely watching tv. But the clock keeps ticking.

Funky floral

2006-05-06T22:48:00.000-04:00

Nurtring Our Creative Souls

2006-04-30T20:18:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I went to Home Depot in search of a pot and a new jasmine plant, and a pot for a plant that looks like a palm but is not a palm -it's a tricolor marginata. The clerk while looking for "root hormone" joked about how it seems that many are taking growth hormone these days, so why not our plants? I told him I also need plant food and magnesium sulfate as my plants are better fed than my family:-). The sprinklers went off by accident and some of the patrons were flipping out. I laughed it off and found someone to turn them off. One woman remarked "You have a lot of patience." My response was "Life is good!" Are people who garden so worried about getting a little wet from sprinklers in south Florida?

Unfortunately there were no exciting pots so I decided to check out the paint department in order to dress up the double lip terracotta pots I chose. I found some Rustoleum enamel paints (hunter green, yellow and almond), a touch up paint roller kit with two little extra rollers and a brush. Perhaps I should have done some research about what would be the best paints on a terracotta pot but oh well, I chose to take the plunge.

I woke up excited to start painting. I felt like a little kid in pre-school...lots of messy paint, paint as you go, mix the colors, cut up a sponge to do some sponge painting .... It was a gorgeous cool spring morning (in the 70s) and the neighbor's birds were chirping and greeting the day. I thought about putting on music to keep me company but just enjoyed the sounds of nature instead.

I painted 4 pots and the rim of one other. My first one ended up with lots of layers of paint because I wasn't thrilled with all the experimentation. The others were easier and are waiting for me to embellish the base coats another day. I let the pots dry most of the day and when the first was dry to the touch, I filled it with good potting soil and the new jasmine plant. I watered it thoroughly. Hours later I looked outside and thought for a minute the pot was still wet...but the paint bubbled up from underneath. While I actually like the textured look, I'm pretty sure the paint will peel and I'll have to start again with this pot. I had an awesome time painting and nurturing my soul with creativity today.

What

you

nurture

your

creative

soul?

Curly peach hibiscus, orange begonia and ripe cherry tomatoes

2006-04-27T13:51:00.000-04:00

After the rain.

2006-04-26T17:24:00.000-04:00

Canna

2006-04-25T08:09:00.000-04:00

New life

2006-04-23T20:59:00.000-04:00

The cucumber plants finally have flowers :-).

Our first ripening tomato.

There are many worlds.

2006-04-18T17:36:00.000-04:00

After driving long hours through the hot Sinai desert in 1976, our group of friends finally arrived at Ras Muhammed National Park. It was part of Israel that year. When we arrived at the entrance to the park, we were handed an empty plastic garbage bag and instructed not to leave anything other than footprints behind and not to take anything from the sancutary that we did not bring with us. It was absolutely pristine. People fully respected the beauty and nature of this treasure on earth.

I had never snorkled before and didn't have a clue about what to expect. My friend showed me how to put on the mask and snorkel. I put my face in the water and absolutely inhaled, gasped and sucked in water with breathless amazement at the incredible beauty beneath the surface of the crystal clear water. The desert sun was pouring down so the visibility was perfect. The colors were extraordinary. We slowly snorkeled out further until there was a cliff beneath the surface and it dropped into what appeared to be an endless abyss of colorful coral, fish, water etc. Oh to have had been an experienced diver and go deeper in the Red Sea at that magnificent spot on earth.

Although I was not able to dive, I realized that day on that spot there are worlds that I know little about. For example,there's an entire world of sea creatures interacting all the time beneath the surface of the earth and I never really gave it any thought before that day. Needless to say, my trip through the Sinai in general and at Ras Muhammed in particular was profound.

On our way back north through the Sinai, before arriving at Eilat, we parked and took a little walking tiyul (trip) through a wadi where we met a bedouin man, Salem. He invited us for coffee with his elderly father who sat with a crutch to his side and one leg missing. They shared their little bit of very sweet coffee with us. Salem's precious little daughter was running after baby goats on the rocks. His tent was way in the distance and we didn't get close to it. The gentle bedouin man, Salem, made stone carvings from the granite and sandstone of the Sinai . Two of us bought carvings from him. I treasure that carved sandstone bedouin sculpture to this day. (I should scan in the pics.) Although I spoke no Arabic, my friend did and he helped us communicate. That was also a highlight of our trip. I had previously observed the bedouin from behind bus and car windows and wondered about their lives, but that day I was able to get closer and become even more sensitive about their beautiful culture.

Last week I went with a dear friend to visit her very recently widowed, vision impaired 94 year old grandmother at an "assisted living" facility and again I recall the feeling of "wow, here's another separate world." There was a sea of elderly people walking, shuffling, wheeling around and interacting on the first floor of the building. Here the wealthy elderly can afford to live in comfort and beautiful surroundings, be properly cared for and entertained. We sat for some time with her grandmother and her grandmother's personal aide in a sunny alcove on white wicker chairs near french doors and I observed many of the residents smiling and content with their good fortune to be in such a place, where their meals are prepared for them, happy hour (no alcohol) is celebrated everyday, and they each have privacy in their individual apartments so they are able to get help 24/7/365 and not live in fear of being so terribly alone at this juncture in their lives.

Of course I've lived in the world of parenting a child with diabetes, a world many know nothing about. At times it felt very lonely without any extended family help whatsoever. But I have come far, from the depths of overwhelm, fear, sadness, depression etc., and have become an empowered woman. It's time for me to take the skills I've developed over the last 17 years raising my son with his chronic illness and put the skills to further good use. I'm going to apply to study for an MSW and find strength in empowering others. It feels right now to spread my wings and expand my horizons at the same time as I send my first born off to college. We will each explore new worlds.

Lechi Lach

2006-04-15T19:28:00.000-04:00

When my daughter was studying for her bat mitzvah, her Torah portion was Lech Lecha...the story of Abraham when was told to go out of his his homeland etc. One day after my daughter finished her bat mitvah lesson, a lovely woman cantor was in the synagogue and looked my daughter in the eyes and said someone must sing Lechi Lach to you in honor of your Torah portion. She sang in the most glorious voice the song Lechi Lach in its entirety.

Lechi Lach Miriam's Well

Lyrics by Debbie Friedman & Savina Teubal (based on Genesis 12:1-2)

L'chi lach to a land that I will show you
L'ch l'cha to a place you do not know
L'chi lach on your journey I will bless you
And you shall be a blessing, you shall be a blessing
You shall be a blessing lechi lach

L'chi lach and I shall make your name great
L'ch l'cha and all shall praise your name
L'chi lach to the place that I will show you
L'simhat hayim, L'simhat hayim
L'simhat hayim lechi lach
.And you shall be a blessing, you shall be a blessing

You shall be a blessing l'chi lach.

To listen to this song, click here.

1988 Deborah Lynn Friedman (ASCAP) Sounds Write Productions, Inc. (ASCAP). Used with permission of Sounds Write Productions, Inc.

On the first night of Passover this year, we sat at my brother's house with a large group of family and friends at the seder and my sister-in-law played a cd with this song on it. I hadn't heard it since that day at the synagogue and it brought a very sweet blanket of happiness over me. I still kvell when I remember how well my daughter learned and studied for her bat mitzvah at the symbolic time of her becoming responsible for herself as a person. And today I watch her blossoming daily into a young woman.

Today my father sent me a copy of the CD and I've been playing it repeatedly. My daughter is a blessing and will go out and be great. She's a wonderful friend, smart, aware and sensitive. She will go forth with pride in herself.

Fortitude?

2006-04-14T08:27:00.000-04:00

How do those of you who have days/months/ or longer with deep sadness and disgust with the 24/7/365 relentlessness of living with diabetes and other chronic illness, COPE? How do you daily resist the temptation to give up? What helps you the most to seize the day in the face of the adversity diabetes and/or other chronic illnesses often presents?

I'm struck by the diametrically opposed blog posts here:

A dear friend has blogged here about being tired of everything diabetes: http://diabetestalkfest.com/blog/?p=75 . If you have words of wisdom, please leave her a comment.

A person I don't know who is 21 with cystic fibrosis and facing a lung transplant appears absolutely positive about life posted here: http://pinkandsmiley.blogspot.com/2006/04/someone-on-message-boards-brought-up.html

I've suffered from depression in the past. There were days I truly believed life would never be joyful again. I sought help because I could not conquer it on my own. I have emerged after years of therapy and better living through chemistry as someone who honestly believes life is GOOD and should be treasured. It certainly has its challenges and there are days...........but I do not live with a chronic illness.

There should be no comparison between the blog posts. The question is, what drives your fortitude to handle the myriad of medical tasks surrounding diabetes (or your chronic illness) day in and day out and continue to love life and see all that life has to offer outside of the illness?

A visit to the library

2006-04-13T20:58:00.000-04:00

Earlier this week I dropped off 12 of the 42 boxes of books I have taken from our shelves to give away. It was really tough to put them in my car, ring the back door bell at the library and hand them off. I have so many memories of reading with my children and selecting those books for them.

Today S had to go to the library to get materials on Josef Mengele for a research assignment. It's good she's getting exposure to the heinous crimes commited during the Holocaust. Every generation should work to prevent similar events from taking place. Atrocities are taking place every day in Darfur and the world is sitting idly by and doing nothing to prevent it. Everyone must raise their voices on this and call Condaleeza Rice's office and express the need for US and world intervention TODAY!

While we were at the library, we passed the shelves where people can donate a small amount of money and take home some used books. A shelf and a half of our books were out there. It's good to share these special books with others who will enjoy them. They were only collecting dust in our home.

Now my home is filled with plants - this is a caladium with a water droplet oozing out of the edge. There were many more droplets before I turned on the light above it.

I have Prius envy.

2006-04-12T16:59:00.000-04:00

Everytime I pass a Prius, I feel sick that I'm not driving a more earth friendly car. I have never been one to covet anyone else's car...until the Prius came to market. You heard it here from me - I have Prius envy!

The cheapest gas at the corner near my house today is $2.99 gallon.

Container gardening continues

2006-04-09T11:34:00.000-04:00

Evening Jasmine - mmmmmmmmm so fragrant. It's right outside of our front door.

I read that New Guinea impatiens shouldn't be in full sun but I saw many around here who have them in full sun. These are in a western exposure so I think the leaves are burning. I may have to transplant it and put in on the pool patio so it gets east sunlight instead.

I just bought this bougainvillea. I'm probably the only one in south Florida who can't keep this plant alive! Wish me luck.

At Christmas time 2005, I purchased a jade plant for my neighbor and one for our home. Our neighbor put his out in the sun and its grown 2-3x in size. I read the directions to keep it in shade, and mine is still small. He told me in Iran as a kid, he used to eat the leaves sometimes but they were very sour. His parents didn't know ;-).

New baby cherry tomatoes

2 weeks ago I planted this pot with 3 little cucumber bush plants. So far there is no sign of any flowers or cukes, but the plants have grown.

Inside the house we have purple shamrocks. Are they still lucky? :-)

From the garden pots

2006-04-02T20:46:00.000-04:00

Brief Update

2006-03-30T16:11:00.000-05:00

I haven't had anything worth posting about for a while now, so I'll give you a picture of my very first cherry tomatoes growing on the patio. Hopefully before they are ripe and ready to be picked, I'll have something worth blogging about. :-)

.

Cheers!

2006-03-16T09:16:00.000-05:00

Join this bear in cheering for Z who was just accepted into the Honors Program at University of Florida. Z really worked hard during his high school years in the International Baccalaureate program and has so much be proud of as he finishes up his IB exams and prepares to begin his next level of education.

Z, your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends

are smiling from ear to ear

Watch us revel in our pride & join together

to give you a well deserved cheer!!!

Sunburn

2006-03-12T15:15:00.000-05:00

Just got home from the ER. S spent too many hours in the sun at the beach yesterday and is paying dearly for it now. She got some IV fluids but is still dizzy. She looks like she has the skin of a ripe tomato. It's frightening. Hopefully the topical meds will help.

I had a bad night. I didn't take any sleep medication because I was very tired around 10:00 p.m. At 1:00 a.m. one cat woke me so I would let him out. At 4:00 a.m. S called me from her friend's house and told me she was dizzy. I couldn't convince he to let me come pick her up (she would have had to wake someone in the house so they could lock the door behind her)...so I coaxed her to slowly get to the kitchen and drink juice. I couldn't fall back to sleep so I logged onto the Internet briefly, watched some tv and eventually caught some shut eye. Until 7:00 a.m. when another cat was relentlessly trying to open the door. I feel tortured that I can't sleep through the night ever. At 8:00 a.m. I called S's cell phone and told her I was coming to get her and take her to the ER. We were in th ER until close to 2:30 p.m. I'm exhausted from doing nothing but mostly from lack of sleep.

Put Money in the Pushke

2006-03-10T12:19:00.000-05:00

My loving and delightful mother-in-law always says "when something good happens for which you are grateful , put money in the pushke". The pushke is the container that holds the money we give for tzedakah , the Jewish law of giving charity.

Well my blogger and blog reading friends, each and every one of S's test results came back normal. The doctor called and told me yesterday but I had to see it with my own eyes. I had to look at the paperwork to make sure he didn't miss something! We still don't have an explanation for what showed up on the bone scan, but he feels if she rests for 4 more weeks (yah right, she's 16 and doesn't sit at home), she'll likely heal.

Let me joyfully fill the pushke.

I don't recognize this either

2006-03-09T16:00:00.000-05:00

Although you may not recognize this, under the junk is an elliptical machine in my bedroom that beckons to be cleared off and used. Beyond the sliding glass doors is a pool that's 68 degrees so 10 more degrees and I may venture in. Outside my front door is picture postcard weather that leaves me with no excuse but to enjoy nature.

Thanks to the wonderful people at the OC who have started the 100 days to better health challenge, I'm officially registering and have created a special blog 100 Steps to Improving My Health. Wish me luck!

"Da Nile"

2006-03-08T07:08:00.000-05:00

I'm cruising "da Nile" for 2 more days. I'll call the doctor for the test results on Friday.

Out of the sand and over the cliff

2006-03-03T09:32:00.000-05:00

The orthopedist doesn't know what's causing the stress reaction in numerous bones so he's ordered lots of blood work. I'm hoping to convince my daughter to have the blood drawn today after school. Yesterday she announced "I don't care if I have celiac, I'm going to eat whatever I want." I don't blame her for feeling that way! In fact I love her for at least thinking about it at all. This is tough stuff.

Stay tuned.

I need to get my head out of the sand!

2006-03-01T06:40:00.000-05:00

I stuck my head in the sand and look what I saw when I came up for air! The possibility that my daughter has celiac disease. What is Celiac Disease?

"Celiac disease (CD) is a genetic disorder. In people with CD, eating certain types of protein, called gluten, sets off an autoimmune response that causes damage to the small intestine. This, in turn, causes the small intestine to lose its ability to absorb the nutrients found in food, leading to malnutrition and a variety of other complications."

"The offending protein, gluten, is found in wheat, barley, rye, and to a lesser extent, oats (WBRO). Related proteins are found in triticale, spelt, kamut."

A few months back my daughter had an injury on her Sector 9 longboard and we went to see the orthopedist. Nothing showed up on the x-ray. Recently S has been complaining that her shins hurt, the tissue near her shins was tender, ankles slightly swollen and we attributed it to possbile shin splints as a result of not enough stretching prior to trying track after school. Last week the orthopedist ordered a bone scan to see if she has stress fractures. She took the test on Monday of this week. They injected a radioactive isotope into her blood stream so they could take pictures of her bones. We'll have the results tomorrow at the orthopedist's office. While I sat and watched her having the scan, I started reading Peter Green's book Celiac Disease A Hidden Epidemic.

A dear friend, Renee, sent the book to me. Her daughter has type 1 diabetes and celiac sprue. Another wonderful cyber friend, Robin, has a son with diabetes and his sister has celiac. Ironically I suggested that Robin have her daughter tested for it based on her daughter's symptoms. From some abstracts I've read, siblings of children with diabetes have a greater likelihood of developing celiac than the general healthy population.

Bizarre coincidence? Last week while driving home from school, my daughter informed me that in her culinary class they made something gluten free and her condescending teacher was surprised my daughter knew about celiac. We've been to Children With Diabetes Friends for Life conferences and one of S's friends from there has celiac.

My daughter has recently complained of mild stomach aches but looking back, several years ago she had unexplained severe stomach pain and had blood work, ultrasound etc. and nothing was diagnosed as a result. We even changed pediatricians because we thought the first one wasn't sufficiently concerned. Those pains dissipated. She also runs more headaches than anyone I know her age. Now with the risk of possible stress fractures, it seems perhaps she's not absorbing calcium properly - another sign of celiac. I've also wondered why she didn't grow taller, although she looks a lot like my husband's sister who is also petite. S seems to need to nap a lot more now, although isn't that true of many teens? Even though she has these signs of the disease, many people are completely asymptomatic with celiac.

When the lightbulb went off that she may have celiac, I searched for the book in my car and at home. I thought I left it at the imaging center although when I called yesterday, they said no one turned it in. They just called and said they found it! (another sign?) I'm starting to panic. Anticipatory grieving? How will I do this? How will I make our home gluten free? As Z is going off to college and I relinquish the role of diabetes police/support, am I now to have the new role as gluten free police/support? OMG. My daughter loves wheat products. Doesn't everyone who has celiac? Robin has assured me I will survive this.

Deep cleansing breaths to stop the nausea in the pit of my stomach! Inahle....exhale...slow down....

I emailed Dr. Green who told me S needs to have the following blood tests:

Tissue transglutaminase IgA and IgG
Total IgA level

I hope I can convince the pediatrician to order the blood tests. I'll convince them...who am I kidding? I'm waiting for the results of the bone scan first. I just want one more day to not deal with it. :-(

Camino Real Bridge Dance

2006-02-25T17:47:00.000-05:00

S and her friends went to the beach today. There were billowy clouds in the sky, the weather was warm and there was a fabulous breeze. I was in charge of picking up and driving home. I took a new route to the beach and sailed there and was thrilled to show the girls an alternate route home. Wouldn't you know it, we got the bridge? That means all cars stop and the bridge opens and lets the boats go through. It's at least 10 minutes until the boats pass through and the bridge goes down again.

So while the music was blasting from my daughter's iPod connected to the van's speakers, I suggested the girls get out and run around. Well S and one friend got out and danced non stop with so much energy around the cars and out in the open - totally free spirited. Another friend captured a bit of it on video. They were adorable. The elderly in the cars didn't know what to make of it. But some of the young drivers around cheered them on a bit. By the time the bridge went back up, there were at least 100 cars lined up behind my van. I just grinned ear to ear and loved the show.

There is joy raising teens! Most of the video is S's friend dancing but there's a bit of my daughter in there too. I did NOT choose the song ARGG ;-). Click here to watch them dance.

Joy comes in many forms

2006-02-22T13:47:00.000-05:00

Since my 2006 New Year's resolution, there have been lots of fresh flowers, plants and herbs growing inside and outside of my house. Here are a few that bring me joy today.

Nasturtium
an edible flower growing in my herb pot

Hyacinth and greens
mmmmm smells so good

Close up of the flower
Anthurium andreanum Maxima Verde

Bright red EXPIRED Glucagon Kits -
another 4 years of not needing to use them!
We'll bring them to the Ped Endo's office
so they can train others to use Glucagon.

What brought you joy today? :-)

17th Anniversary - Diagnosed February 18, 1989

2006-02-18T16:51:00.000-05:00

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Z!

17 years with diabetes and once again it's time to celebrate all your efforts to keep yourself healthy and strong. You rock!
I hope you're having a blast in Boston and good luck with the debate.
You are so loved and admired.

A bit of reflection:

TWO MONTHS BEFORE DIAGNOSIS
you were chubby and healthy:

FOUR DAYS BEFORE DIAGNOSIS.
you were gaunt and cranky:

Today you are 18 years old, handsome and healthy:

January 20, 2006. We received the requested hospital records from your admission when diagnosed at fifteen months of age with type 1 diabetes. Can you imagine that someone as obsessed with diabetes as I am, I never knew what your blood glucose level was upon admission? (It took me nearly 17 years to request the records and I did so with your insistence.) I was in complete and utter shock over the diagnosis and didn't even comprehend what anything meant, let alone the actual blood glucose values. I remember people were talking to me but it felt as if they were talking through a cloud. I couldn't hear them. They sliced your little fingers with razor like lancets in ICU and the doctor couldn't get them to use a lancet device until you were out of ICU. I was so scared for you, for us...

Here's some of the info from the admission report:

T 97
HR 138
BP 113/75
R 50

General: moderately lethargic with obvious Kussmaul breathing. Patient is arrousable but very sleepy. Very irritable when aroused.............

PH 7.06
Glucose 616
Creatinine 2.1
BUN 17
Sodium 135
Potassium 4.5
Chloride 103
Co2 3.9
Urine 5% glucose
large acetone
Serum moderate acetone

Impression dka severe
10-12% dehydration
? minimal hepatomegaly

...admitted with respiratory distress, lethargy, glucose in the 600s, pH of 7. weight loss for approximately two weeks, polyuria, polydipsia...

Diet History:
...he eats almost every food that the family prepares. He is breastfeedng at home. He is used to breast feeding whenever he wants to. The food that he eats is Kosher.

For breakfast, he will have sometimes scrambled eggs, cheese, toast, crackers. He likes fresh oranges and fresh fruits lke pineapples, mango, apple, pears. Then after breakfast he nurses. Lunch and dinner are regular finger foods like chicken, fish, ground beef, fresh vegetables like cooked carrots, green beans, broccoli, fried tofu, spaghetti, macaroni and cheese and bread. He is used to breast feeding whenever he wants to or whenever he refuses to eat food. ...

At home he was not getting any sweets. According to the mother they prefer everything to be natural...

--------------------------------------------------

You've come a long way Zack. You're 18 years old and soon going off to college. I know you'll take care of yourself because you care about your well being. You must be so proud of yourself son, you are truly an extraordinary young man!

Love, Mom

Stung!

2006-02-18T14:02:00.000-05:00

S went to the beach today. While in the water, she was stung by a Portugese Man-of-War. OUCH! We're watching the swelling and hoping she'll be ok. She said it burns but doesn't want to admit how much because she's going to a concert tonight.

p.s. She had a fit because I insisted on having the home and cell phone number of the kid who's driving. (I suppose to a 16 year old that doesn't indicate mom loves and cares about her!)

Debate in Boston and S Goes To Mall

2006-02-17T12:34:00.000-05:00

Z's in Boston participating in Student Congress at the Harvard Debate Tournament for high school students. I dropped him off at the airport this morning. While there I discreetly spoke with the debate coach, briefly mentioning the type 1 diabetes and let her know if Z looks weak, he needs a source of sugar ASAP. I also told her he has a Glucagon kit on him but she should just know if anything happens, she needs to call 911 and let them know he has type 1 diabetes. She said "I'm a certified CNA." Do I think she knows anything about diabetes? (Not really sure.) I guess that's the last time I tell a chaperone about the diabetes. Z's 18 and on his own now. He's also very capable of handling it. I thanked her for her hard work and she said this is a great group of kids and it's her pleasure to take them to the event.

Last night was my typical pattern of preparation for sending him off. I worked myself up with worry and had yet another migraine. (I had also eaten a lot of olives the day before - not sure if that's also a trigger, and got my period today.) At 3:00 a.m. I discovered I was out of migraine medicine and we were out of Excedrin so I took several low dose aspirin and a 12 hour Sudafed. I also plunged the toilet (why can't anyone in this house tell me if the toilet is clogged?). I communed with the porcelain bowl several times. At 5:50 a.m. I woke my husband and he very kindly went to Walgreens and bought Excedrin. I swallowed the 2 Excedrin around 6:20 a.m. and by 7:50 a.m. was able to crawl out of bed. We were on our way to the airport at 8:30 a.m.

Although we discussed diabetes briefly, for once the conversation was to impress upon Z that he should feel very proud of all he has accomplished and that he earned this trip and should just enjoy himself to the max. Since he only packed 2 shirts for 3 dressy events (gulp should I have helped him pack?), he can pay the hotel to launder the shirt from the first day so he'll have it on day 3. Also in the car he admitted to letting the scholarship he was supposed to apply for by next Tuesday slip by and it will fall through. My husband tried everything to make it happen by having us submit it, but it won't work. Z's going to have to fill out the application when he gets home from at 1:00 a.m. on the 21st and we have to have it postmarked that date, even though Z claims not to have the time to do it. $2000 he better find the time! EGADS.

So I'm sitting here shaky from the Excedrin and Sudafed. Anyone know how I can break the cycle of having a migraine everytime I feel stressed? I hope I'll be able to send him off to college in June without another whopper like this one.

Zack called upon landing in Boston, had a great flight and I hope he's having the time of his life as he should! I found this out while driving my daughter home from the tailor where of course she didn't like how they tapered her pants. She said her "knees can't breathe". She's 16. She didn't want to wait while they offered to let out the seams. Anyone relate to that? (Of course I can remember sewing the seams so tight I had to be flat on the bed to zip up jeans.)

S asked to drive to the mall by HERSELF. OMG!!!!!!!!! I said yes. My husband's questioning if I'm crazy. She went to the mall, no friends allowed, had to call when she got there and before she left to drive home. Was that not enough? Of course not. Then I got a cell phone call that she wants to know about the rules for making a U-turn at a red light (there's no u-turn necessary to get from the mall to our home) and asked if she can go and buy food for her and her friends. I insisted she come straight home. I thought it was enough for her to drive to the mall and back for the first time. No matter what, she always pushes for more. I wanted her home before rush hour. I want to get used to her making short trips. When she got home it was the teen hysteria that I'm irrational and she should have been allowed to go elsewhere in addition to where she was told she could go...then there were threats that next time she won't ask. Then she complained that I don't make dinner but she always hates what I make and is vocal about that so I choose not to cook and be criticized.

Will I give her the keys and permission to drive again? Of course. But the rules are: she gets to go where I permit, and then she comes home. She's 16. She can get her experience driving a little at a time.

I need more migraine meds. ;-)

Quilt For Life

2006-02-12T16:45:00.000-05:00

The magnficent Children With Diabetes (CWD) website has organized the Quilt for Life. (The AIDS community has their memorial quilt, and now we have our Quilt for Life.) The Quilt for Life panels are placed side by side in long rows. Viewing the quilt in person is truly an emotional and personal experience. It puts the faces of the real people who live with diabetes and some who have lost the battle with diabetes in full view for the pubic. Spend some time looking at the quilts here. I hope you'll feel inspired to contribute to this tactile and visual effort which raises awareness that real people live with and need to be cured of type 1 diabetes.

I must admit my quilt for Z was hastily put together the very last minute before attending the first CWD Friends For Life Conference that displayed the quilt. I'm embarrassed to show it but want you to know, that if I can make one, you can too! I can't sew (obviously HAHA) but I can iron onto fabric.

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The Quilt For Life was displayed at the American Diabetes Association's well respected 2005 Scientific Sessions.

"Quilt for Life" Display Set For Washington D.C. Mall; Children's colorful and emotional quilts show the true face of diabetes. Read the Press Release.

The Quilt for Life now has 435 panels. We need many more in preparation for a showing at the Mall in Washington, D.C. on June 8, 2006 near the Capitol. Please consider making a panel. Read more here about the QUILT FOR LIFE .

Birthdate. Diagnosis date. Pumping date. 3 am blood sugar checks. Wishing for a cure. Smiles. Lots of smiles. All are in the Quilt for Life, part of Children with Diabetes. For many, diabetes is about numbers. For us, diabetes is about Marissa and Sam and Lori and Justin and the tens of thousands of other children with diabetes. In the Quilt for Life, diabetes is transformed from the impersonal to the personal, from the abstract world of numbers to the real world of children living everyday with finger sticks and insulin injections. In the Quilt for Life, we all see the wonder of our kids and we rededicate ourselves to finding a cure for type 1 diabetes.
-- Jeff Hitchcock, CWD Founder

Click here for the Submission Form

This quilt is not just for children with diabetes. There are quilts for adults with diabetes as well. Together we well make it known who we are and who needs to be cured. Please recognize how important your contribution is to this vital project. When you submit a quilt on behalf of yourself or your loved one with diabetes, you will tell the world of our vision of a cure for all. We will no longer allow type 1 diabetes to be the illness that's swept under the rug. Please create a 3' x 3' quilt and submit it to CWD so the lawmakers and public at large will know WHO exactly needs to be cured of type 1 diabetes.

Onychomycosis

2006-02-10T09:21:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I brought beautiful flowers to my blog. Today I bring something not so pretty.

Onychomycosis upsets me enough to know how to spell it. Have you seen the commercials for Lamisil with Digger the Dermatophyte?

From the web: "Onychomycosis is a fungal infection that causes fingernails or toenails to thicken, discolor, disfigure, and split."

"The nails of people with onychomycosis are initially a cosmetic concern. Without treatment, however, the nails can become so thick that they press against the inside of the shoes, causing pressure, irritation, and pain."

The prevalence of onychomycosis in patients with diabetes has been reported to be 26%. Indeed, diabetics appear almost three times as likely to have onychomycosis as non-diabetic individuals. Gupta, A. K., R. G. Sibbald, C. W. Lynde, P. R. Hull, R. Prussick, N. H. Shear, P. De Doncker, C. R. Daniel, 3rd, and B. E. Elewski. 1997. Onychomycosis in children: prevalence and treatment strategies. J Am Acad Dermatol. 36:395-402.

(These are NOT my son's toes)

He had a course of the oral meds but the meds are toxic and require regular liver enzyme function testing. We've also tried PenLac many times but weren't as consistent as needed. The success rate is low according to the literature.

Do you or a loved one suffer from onychomycosis? My husband, son and I have it. Have any of you had success with PenLac?

Ten Prefilled Cartridges

2006-02-09T22:55:00.000-05:00

Tonight I offered to prefill 10 cartridges for Z. Soon enough I won't have the opportunity to help him with these little things. My daughter asked me "Doesn't he do that?" Yes he does fill cartridges but everyone with diabetes needs support and if someone can manage even one task for the person with diabetes, I think it's really helpful. So here is a picture of one of the last batches of prefilled cartridges I'll be preparing for my son before he goes off to college in June. Z prefers to have the cartridges ready in the 'fridge. That way when in a hurry, he just has to grab one, let it warm up to room temp, pop it in the pump, prime etc. and off he goes. We've been prefilling cartridges since Z started on the pump over 10 years ago. Do you prefill?

Flowers

2006-02-09T14:18:00.000-05:00

There are fresh flowers in my house everyday.

Hibiscus from the front yard
photographed by the pool today.

I love when tulips open. This one's just starting.

Alstrumeria

Rest in Peace Mrs. Coretta Scott King

2006-02-07T16:33:00.000-05:00

Coretta Scott King was a magnificent woman who used peaceful means to continue her quest to end racism. Today I feel blessed to have had the time to watch almost the entire funeral for Mrs. King and to listen to the flow of endless eloquent accolades for this fine human being. May we all continue to do her work. The job is not done.

May your legacy and inspiration endure for all eternity.

Tagged again

2006-02-07T08:06:00.000-05:00

Thanks Karondaray and Allison for the tag.

Four jobs I’ve had in my life:

Cashier at Roy Rogers "Howdy pahdnnah, may I serve you please?"
Bookstore clerk at Penn. State
Library Assistant (Jewish day school)
Intellectual Property Paralegal (patents, copyrights, trademarks...)

Four Movies I can watch over and over:

Nowhere in Africa
Out of Africa
Monsoon Wedding
Bonjour Monsieur Shlomi
(oops can't leave out - To Kill a Mockingbird my all time favorite movie, Gandhi, Witness, Amadeus and It's a Wonderful Life)

Four places I have lived:

New Jersey
Pennsylvania
Washington DC
Jerusalem, Israel

Four TV shows I love to watch:

Everyday Italian - Is there anything she makes that isn't luscious?
C-Span - government hearings and Book TV on C-Span2
Today Show
Clean House
(p.s Seinfeld reruns!)

Four places I have been on vacation:

Mexico
Italy
Switzerland
Holland

Four of my favorite foods:

Chicken with fresh spices (delicious recipe)
Valrhona Manjari chocolate I buy it in bulk at Whole Foods
Chocolate Chicken (Mexican)
Stews with injera and honey wine (Ethiopian)

Four websites I visit daily:

Children with Diabetes Parents Chat

Metukim Diabetes News In English

GizMag Emerging Technology Magazine (takes a long time to load)

YNet Israel News

Four places I would rather be right now:

Jerusalem
Ein Gedi
Greece
New Zealand

I would like to tag my very creative friend Mel from New Zealand, who is soon going to publish her blog. Mel, the pressure is on. We're all looking forward to you joining the OC. :-)

I tag Gina and Swigrstorm - someone please let them know :-).

The 11th Commandment

2006-02-02T11:32:00.000-05:00

Is it because he's an atheist he doesn't abide by the 11th commandment - THOU SHALT NOT RAGE BOLUS!?

Z and I returned home from the grocery store last night and his bg was in the high 300s. He reluctantly agreed to take an injection of 7 units. He wanted to play some DDR before showering and changing the site so he danced for a while and it drove the bg up approximately 50 mg/dl points higher. The suggestion to check ketones evoked "I never have ketones". (Of course not, if you never check for them, you never have them.) He took a shower and the bg started to come down but apparently not fast enough for him. I asked him not to rage bolus and to give the insulin some time to work. He was craving Diet Coke. "Remember the endo said if bg is high, being well hydrated will help the insulin work." He drank a huge icy seltzer. Later I suggested since the bg was dropping fast, he should go ahead and eat that big veggie sub waiting for him in the 'fridge.

Z admitted he rage bolused, bg wasn't dropping fast enough. Perhaps because the 7 unit injection wasn't in the memory of the pump, he forgot and thought it ok to take more insulin.

He didn't lower basals at bedtime last night, woke with a 39 mg/dl bg and was most distressed because he didn't feel it at all. Z guzzled some Powerade and went back to sleep. He woke later with an 89 mg/dl bg, had breakfast and went to school.

Z's truly awesome about the diabetes and I could never do half the job he does taking care of it. But diabetes throws the curve balls. Am I nervous about him going off to college in 5 months? HELP ME.

NOT IN MY SON'S LUNGS

2006-01-27T17:25:00.000-05:00

Pfizer's Exubera was approved by the FDA today. What a sad day for the lungs of people with diabetes. Years from now we'll see the damage as a result of this multi-billion dollar business.

If you want to do some research before letting this drug damage your lungs, or your loved one's lungs, here are a few links:

http://www.fda.gov/ohrms/dockets/ac/05/briefing/2005-4169B1_01_01-Pfizer-Exubera.pdf 240 page document prepared by Exubera to the FDA . Big pharma yields tremendous power in the US.

How small a drop in your airway test would be acceptable to you? Probes Efficacy, Safety of Inhaled Insulin -- Simmons 1 (1): 12 -- DOC News Research ...A "small but clinically insignificant drop" was observed in some of the airways tests, said Anthony Barnett, MD, the lead study investigator for Exubera

Inhaled insulin for diabetes mellitus ...The efficiency of inhaled insulin is lower than that of subcutaneous injection because pulmonary delivery of insulin involves some loss of drug within the inhaler or mouth during inhalation. A concern of many clinicians is the possibility of long-term effects from the intraalveolar deposition of insulin within the lung, since insulin is known to have growth-promoting properties. The long-term safety of these products has not been established.

Unlocking the opportunity of tight glycaemic control. Inhaled insulin: safety ...In clinical trials of patients with type 1 or 2 diabetes who were treated with Exubera((R)), the only significant clinical adverse effect was cough. This was generally characterized as mild to moderate in severity, decreased over time and was not associated with declines in lung function.

[Inhaled insulin, new perspective for insulin therapy] ...Among various difficulties of the pulmonary insulin delivery, the finding of an effective promoter, capable of increasing the bioavailability of insulin, is a crucial issue. The cost of such insulin administration might also be a problem. Finally, careful studies concerning the safety of this kind of administration, particularly potential long-term pulmonary toxicity, are mandatory.

University of Alabama, Birmingham UAB pharmacology researcher Dennis J. Pillion, Ph.D, “Inhaled insulin is fast and user-friendly, but precise dosing is difficult, and only about 10 percent of the insulin gets absorbed into the blood stream. And, like all new products, no long-term outcome data and toxicity data are available yet.” Pillion said.

Persons with diabetes want to AVOID severe hypoglycemia. This is from an abstract of a recent Skyler article. Use of inhaled insulin in a basal/bolus insulin regimen in type 1 diabetic subjects: a 6-month, randomized, comparative trial. ... Inhaled insulin was associated with a lower overall hypoglycemia rate but higher severe hypoglycemia rate. ... Increased insulin antibody serum binding without associated clinical manifestations occurred in the inhaled insulin group. Pulmonary function between the groups was comparable, except for a decline in carbon monoxide-diffusing capacity in the inhaled insulin group without any clinical correlates.

Read this one - it's important Exubera Efficacy In Type 1 Diabetes "Intensive" Glycemic Control Questioned By FDA ...Pfizer submitted its NDA (21-868) in March, after a delay of more than three years due to FDA concerns about cases of pleural effusion and pulmonary fibrosis during Phase III trials, as well as the appearance of Exubera antibodies.

UPDATED FEB. 10, 2006 - Exubera Approved Despite Initial Lung Function Concerns Exubera is associated with initial but nonprogressive declines in pulmonary function, with efficacy comparable to that of regular insulin...In patients without overt lung diseases, such as asthma or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), and without concurrent smoking, a small decline in 2 common lung function parameters — FEV1 and DLCO — was seen very soon after starting the drug.....In nonsmokers without pulmonary disease at baseline,....indicate that the differences over time in pulmonary function changes between patients treated with Exubera and control patients are small,...."There was some evidence that in people who stopped Exubera,...the decline in lung function was at least partially reversible, but it was not a large enough group to be able to draw a firm conclusion about that," Jay S. Skyler, MD, MACP, a professor of endocrinology, diabetes, and metabolism, and associate director of the Diabetes Research Institute at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine in Florida, told Medscape. "The pulmonologists describe it as an acute response to exposure, a form of acute injury response that you get on initial exposure but that does not show any further evidence of decline over 2 to 4 years. What we don't yet have any idea about is what happens over 5 to 10 years."..............However, few patients with progressive diabetes may actually be taking Exubera for 5 years or more,......Most of these patients would require insulin injections after 5 years, either alone or with inhaled insulin, and most would be accustomed to self-injection and find less of an advantage to the inhaled formulation than would initial insulin users.......Recommended precautions are that patients be screened with pulmonary function tests, such as FEV1, before starting Exubera, after 6 months of treatment, and yearly thereafter. If there is a persistent, significant decrease in FEV1, Exubera should be discontinued. In clinical trials, other drug-related adverse effects included cough, shortness of breath, sore throat, and dry mouth.....Dr. Skyler noted that Exubera is associated with formation of more insulin antibodies than are injectable formulations........"In none of the studies to date in which Exubera was compared to insulin have they been able to achieve the target blood glucoses that we desire to and can achieve when meticulously using insulin analogues and insulin pumps," Dr. Skyler pointed out. "It remains an open question whether or not you can achieve optimal control with Exubera — it just hasn't been demonstrated in the trials to date."....Julio Rosenstock, MD, from the Dallas Diabetes and Endocrine Center in Texas, and colleagues reported on a 12-week trial of 309 patients with type 2 diabetes...Hypoglycemia, mild weight gain, mild cough, and insulin antibodies were more common in patients receiving inhaled insulin Dr. Skyler is a consultant for Pfizer on Exubera and chaired the company's Global Advisory Committee. He is also a consultant regarding inhaled insulins for Mankind, Novo Nordisk, and KOS, and he is a consultant for Eli Lilly on matters unrelated to inhaled insulins.

http://www.fda.gov/ohrms/dockets/ac/05/briefing/2005-4169B1_01_01-Pfizer-Exubera.pdf

http://www.fda.gov/ohrms/dockets/ac/05/briefing/2005-4169B1_02_00-FDA-TOCTable%20of%20Contents.htm

http://www.fda.gov/ohrms/dockets/ac/05/slides/2005-4169S1_00_Slide-Index.htm

p.s. Robert Goldstein is a MORON! How can anyone his his position be so flippin' clueless about diabetes? "The thing that people with diabetes who have to take insulin hate the most are shots," said Robert Goldstein, chief scientific officer of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation International. "So anything that can replace shots patients are going to be very pleased to have." http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/27/health/27cnd-diabetes.html. Is he completely uneducated about DKA, hypoglycemia unawareness, and dead-in-bed syndrome? Perhaps Robert Goldstein needs to experience a severe hypoglycemic reaction from a large inhalation of Exubera, followed by a chaser shot of glucagon in the behind!

I'm putting the picture of this device at the end - it belongs in the toilet.

Jamaican Bulla

2006-01-27T14:17:00.000-05:00

Karon strenuously ;-) suggested I post something new on the blog. The only exciting thing this week is I found a delicious new ethnic food in the supermarket: Jamaican Bulla. I bought some made by the OchoRios company (www.ochoriosja.com). Their website isn't working yet but should be soon.

For those of you who bake and love ginger, here's a recipe for from the Internet.

BULLA

Preparation Time: 20 minutes Cooking/Baking Time: 20 - 25 minutes
Serves/Yields: 20 bullas Recipe Date: April 20, 2005

INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 lbs. (750 grams) brown sugar
1/2 Tbsp. salt
2 cups (500 ml.) water
2 Tbsps. ginger root, grated
1 cup (250 ml.) soft margarine, melted
2 Tbsps. vanilla
2 lbs. (1 kg.) all purpose flour
3 Tbsps. baking powder
1/2 Tbsp. baking soda
1 Tbsp. mixed spice
1 tsp. nutmeg
1 lb. (450 grams) all purpose flour, for rolling out bullas

METHOD

Preheat oven at 375° F/190° C.
Dissolve sugar and salt in water. Add ginger, margarine and vanilla.
Sift together all dry ingredients and combine with the liquid gradually, until it forms a sticky and heavy dough.
Turn dough onto a floured board (using additional flour), kneading and dusting, until a manageable dough is achieved.
Roll out dough to a thickness of 1/2" and cut in rounds of about 4" in diameter.
Bake on a greased baking sheet for 20-25 minutes or until done.

Serving Suggestions:
Served with cheese, avocado or soft margarine.

Notes:
This is a popular Jamaican snack.

------------------

p.s Another Allstate representative called and she is going to send an adjuster out to examine the possible mold issue in our master bathroom and figure out if the roof is leaking or determine where the leak is coming from that caused the wallboard to be soaked and disintegrate. We can add to the Wilma claim, and we are covered for up to $10,000 for the mold.

p.p.s. Although I'm unemployed by choice, I miss the paycheck.

Mama Banshee

2006-01-20T10:29:00.000-05:00

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Hurricane Wilma ripped off some of the fascia board that attaches our vaulted pool screen enclosure to our house. The enclosure is now precariously being supported by a gutter that has yet to collapse under the weight of all it's holding. Last night while the sprinkler system was running, I heard the screen enclosure squeaking and squawking outside my bedroom windows and had a panic attack that the entire freakin' thing was going to collapse and pull more of our house with it. There was absolutely nothing I could do to prevent it. We survived another night. (A screen enclosure person is coming out next week to give us an estimate.)

So while awake and panic filled about the screen enclosure, I also worried about tomorrow. Z has a debate tournament and signed me up to judge (others of course -no parent sees their own child or any child from the same school debate). I feel woefully inadequate to judge these very bright kids debate. GIANT step outside of my comfort zone. (Can't someone else's parent judge? Can't he wait for his dad to get home so he can judge another competition. Can't he get a ride with someone else to Jupiter so I don't have to go? More panic...more obsession...more inadequacy.)

Zack got to the bus on time but I had wrongly assumed my 16 year old daughter would set her OWN alarm so when I got back home at 6:45 she wasn't up yet. I woke her, let her know we would have to leave in 30 minutes and she got out of bed quickly. She declined my offer to prepare anything for her (like breakfast or lunch). But then the excuses started...."You should have gotten me up earlier." The very last minute she decided to MAKE HER OWN LUNCH when there was absolutely no time to do so. "The mayonnaise jar just broke and there's glass on the kitchen floor." she yelled from across the house. Then the mama banshee started screaming "There's no time... you're going to be late...get out the door...you'll be in all weekend if you're late...there will be no Internet access this weekend..I'll pull the plug...." GAWD I'm a maniac and tired to boot.

We left the house far too late (of course)...had to wait for the solid waste authority trash truck to finish loading the neighbors' trash and move to the side so the line of cars could get by. Of course we were at the end of that line. We got the red light at the next intersection and S suggested I go 4 blocks out of my way and make a U-Turn. (uh not a flippin' chance I was doing THAT). We finally got through the intersection and then had to stop behind a school bus...I continue my nonstop rant about how she "needs to be responsible, this was unacceptable, there was no time to make lunch...the bell already rang...you're late...grrrrrrr .... get out of the car."

As I'm pulling out of the school parking lot I feel a need to get away - you know that fight or flight hormone? I hate the BS of S's sauntering and laisser faire style. Cell phone rings and my very dear friend Cara is ready to meet me for coffee. I really want to go home and get in bed, but we go to breakfast and had a good time chatting. Then I dashed to Home Depot, bought some knobs and handles for cabinet and bifold doors, pick up Z's suit from the dry cleaners and rush home hoping I haven't missed the delivery of my stove temperature knob.

Phone rings - it's a potential roofer / screen enclosure person who came highly recommended. We talk for a long time about how he works directly with the insurance company and we won't have to pay out of pocket if everything is accepted. We discuss the dangerous screen enclosure too and I'm grateful he may be able to do all the replacing. However, when I told him Allstate offered to pay $15,000 for the little screen enclosure to be replaced, he told me it's likely 3x that amount. $45,000 for the screen enclosure? I need a new roof more. He called me back later and said he can have some guys out in a few hours to tear down the screen enclosure/super gutter etc. and it would only be $250. Now I'm worried about all the debris that's going to land in our little unused pool. I hate being a homeowner today almost as much as I hate being an inadequate mother today. My husband's out of town but he'd leave the decision to me anyway about the enclosure. CRUD. I can't decide. Actually we can't take it down - our privacy fence is broken behind the house and we have no way to secure the pool from kids in the neighborhood behind ours so that alone would be an additional problem. We have the privacy fence estimate - $3200 to replace it....I wonder how soon they can do that.

I'll go clean up the glass and mayo on the kitchen floor.

A Day In The Life

2006-01-18T08:23:00.000-05:00

Recognize this routine?

6:15 a.m. the alarm clock goes off again.

"Z are you up?"

The response "I'm getting up."

Next utterance from Z "You were right about my site."

"Dad's out of town, I can't take you to school today. You have to make the bus. Hurry and change the site .... change the tubing too." (D*** I wish he changed the site last night like I suggested. Tubing is probably a few months old.)

"What do you want me to pack you for lunch?"

"Tofu on a bagel, banana, snack bar, seltzer." (I add in a couple of nectarines and pita chips too in case his bg comes down and he can eat breakfast or after school snack. He won't be home until 6:00 p.m. I quickly make him some eggs, put them on a paper plate and pour a large icy seltzer to bring in the car.)

"It's 6:36 we have to get in the car and go."

Z buckles the car seat belt and we're off. "How high was your bg?" "Almost 400." He eats the eggs and guzzles the seltzer while we sit at the bus stop. 6:41 a.m. he boards the bus. The bus pulls away in the dark. I wish he remembered to check for ketones. He wanted a diet soda which usually means he has ketones, but since he's not grossed out by the eggs and he eats them, he likely doesn't have any.

Just another day in the life!

"Your Biggest Fan"

2006-01-11T09:58:00.000-05:00

Dear Barbara,

Almost 17 years ago, in February 1989, my then little Z was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I was overwhelmed, distraught, confused, and most of all frightened. When Z was out of intensive care and finally on the regular floor at Miami Children's Hospital, I begged the social worker to put me in touch with another parent of a child with diabetes. I was blessed and ever so fortunate that you were the one that called me . You assured me I could raise my child with diabetes when I was so unsure of my capabilities. Soon thereafter, you invited our family to your support group in a middle school classroom in South Miami where I met you and your daughter Debbie and her friend and I saw that people can grow up and live with diabetes. You gave me hope when I was full of despair. I made important friends at that first meeting, the lovely Mejia and Batista families and others...and I still cherish the memories of first meeting parents with children with diabetes because I began to understand I was not alone.

Our family needed the fog from the shock of diagnosis to lift before we could focus our energies on understanding what it will take to cure this disease. It was then I learned that you and your husband Sheldon and 4 other families with children with diabetes wanted to accelerate and focus the research to cure type 1 diabetes and from nothing you and the other families created a world renowned research insititution, THE DIABETES RESEARCH INSTITUTE (DRI) which today collaborates globally with other organizations and institutions to fight the battle to cure Type 1 diabetes.

The years flew by. I vividly recall getting one of the saddest phone calls imaginable, that your wonderful Debbie passed away - too young, too soon, so unfair. Diabetes took her life even though you and your husband worked tirelessly to do everything on earth to provide her with the best medical care available and helped create an institute to find a cure for diabetes. From the day we first spoke on the phone until that phone call from the DRI, I lived in denial believing that people could live forever with diabetes. I was so wrong. You were strong and eloquent at Debbie's funeral. You even made a joke about how you would never miss an opportunity to raise money for cure research. Even in your grief, you were still shining that beacon of hope on what was probably the worst day of your life. I vowed at Debbie's grave that I will never give up fighting to get us to the goal of a cure for the diabetes that took her life.

Until today I have not raised enough money to make a difference, although my husband is good at this and has been able to do so. I raise awareness and I see your light shining when I feel frustrated. Awareness alone will not cure this disease. It will take millions if not billions of dollars and it will take removing religious obstacles from research that has the potential to cure diabetes and other diseases. I want to learn from you how to raise the dollars and how to increase the pressure on the government to fund cure focused research so we can put an end to type 1 diabetes.

So although you think it's a joke when I tell you and others I am your biggest fan, Barbara Singer, you have had an enormous impact on my life. You have shown me that a few can make THE difference when it comes to changing the history of type 1 diabetes. You lost a precious child, a magnificent human being, to this disease and you continue the fight. I thank you with every fiber of my being for the example you have set as a person who quietly behind the scenes has made an impact on the world fighting an awful disease.

As I close this letter, know that you continue to inspire me to elicit help from others to join the fight to cure type 1 diabetes. There is simply no time to waste.

Thank you for being you.

Love and hugs,
Ellen

Tagged

2006-01-10T14:40:00.000-05:00

Thank you for tagging me Gina. I am honored to be in the OC tagorama. Here is the "Five Random Facts" Disclosure.

1. I have conquered major depression. This is no small feat so I'm happy to tell you that today I know in my heart and my head that life is good. I embrace it, celebrate it and never take it for granted. Gratitude is a good thing. I am grateful to be alive and to wake up and see the beauty that life holds as well as the challenges it gives me.

But this was not always true for me. I experienced mild depression even in my teens although it didn't always last. When Z was diagnosed with diabetes, it was a shock not ever forgotten and triggered great despair. I was also pregnant at the time and very confused about how I would cope with all there was to master. My family never helped with Z's diabetes and I felt very lonely with his diagnosis. The lack of family involvement was very painful for me as I saw my beautiful child and wondered why others didn't feel it important enough to want to be there for him as well. The excuse that they were too afraid failed - was I not afraid? I took them for education but it wasn't their thing to help me out or to help my son with his diabetes. I've come to accept that this is who they are. There was once a letter sent to me that stated they were proud to have their own lives. After years of mourning and therapy about not having the kind of family others enjoyed around them, I recognize it as their loss.

I sought help, lots and lots of help with several therapists and different medications over the years. I knew that even when the depths of depression and the black cloud were suffocating me, outside of the depression there was air to breathe. I still seek help but currently don't require medication, except for my thyroid medication which has helped a lot. I've attended and continue to attend local diabetes support groups since Z's diagnosis and that has also helped to raise me out of the depths of despair. The Children With Diabetes parents chat helped me make friends worldwide. The sharing of life raising children with diabetes released me from lonliness. The chatters are a big part of my extended "family".

For those of you who suffer from depression, know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I never could have imagined feeling this good again. I'm here for you.

2. I adore my daughter. Sometimes I feel woefully inadequate as her mother. She's creative and fun and loves every kind of music. She's a wonderful friend to her friends. She's takes fabulous pictures and loves to bake. She's smart and beautiful. S doesn't want to connect with me. Maybe at 16 that's how it should be. I'm not sure. I don't want to be her "friend", but I want her to know that she's a treasure and a gift, I'm grateful to have her in my life and I'm here for her. I tell her but don't know that she "hears" me. I want to feel good about raising her and being there for her. I need help with this. I'm not sure where to find it. I have not given up.

3. My weight. I'm afraid to look good, hot, sexy, confident. I lose weight and buy the amazing clothes and then give up the plan and gain. I have bgs that climb when I don't keep the pounds off. I know too much not to delay the onset of type 2. Isn't that stupid? I'm not obese. I need to lose the 20 pounds, keep them off, and feel good about looking good.

4. I lack energy. I'm not lazy; I honestly have a dearth of energy. Maybe it's the weight. Sometimes I look at others and just marvel at how they go go go from sun up to sun down. I'll drive by people jogging and wonder how on earth they can even get themselves outside so far from home let alone run 5, 10, 15 or so miles. I have an eliptical machine in my bedroom that gathers dust. I'm taking it out of my room. I've looked at it too long. Every physical task is a challenge for me and requires lots of stress to get me moving. It's hard for me to sustain anything involving moving physically. I have to learn to shut off my computer. I spend far too much time online. I imagine this comes as no surprise to those who know me. I believe it is an addiction that has to be addressed. But, I believe I had little energy even before I found the Internet maybe it's just worse now.

5. I lived in Jerusalem during my second year of college on Givat Ram in the summer and Mt. Scopus (Har Hatzofim) for the rest of the year. The sun rose over the desert on one side of the campus and set over the city on the other side. It was one of the best years of my life. I love Israel, and the myriad of cultures living side by side. I love the Hebrew language. Sometimes when I take a walk, I can close my eyes and remember the smell in the desert. When I drove from Jerusalem to the Dead Sea, I loved to see the baby white camels with their mothers in the desert, so that's where the whole camels thing started for those of you who know me as CamelsRFun. I want to have a home in Israel.

I met Meghan at one of the Children With Diabetes (CWD) Friends for Life (FFL) conferences and again met her last summer in Orlando. Meghan once escaped a hurricane and hung out at our house for a few days and now she's family! Meghan :-) you are tagged.

EAT!

2006-01-09T18:05:00.000-05:00

Back in declutter mode. I'm a major procrastinator and need magic to change. I called and begged the painter for one more day before he comes to paint the bedroom half of the house. He's giving me until Wednesday. I emptied three sets of bookshelves (almost all the shelves held books 2 deep). 20+ boxes of books and I still have a few more boxes to go. This has been an exhausting job emotionally. It's hard to let go of the books but I'm feeling much better about passing them on to others who will use them rather than allowing them to collect dust on our shelves.

The grand find of today is the little book that Z read in 2nd grade and then declared "I'm never eating meat, chicken or fish again." I put the old book in Z's room so he would see it when he got home from school today and he was pretty happy to reread it. We may even put it in a shadowbox frame since that book transformed his life. All these years later, he's still vegetarian in an a house of omnivores.

The Goddess

2006-01-06T17:21:00.000-05:00

Z had an endo appointment with the Goddess yesterday. How is it that a pediatric endocrinologist can light up the room with her presence and smile? She does just that. The Goddess is brilliant, proactive, attentive, fun, compassionate, empathetic....a joy. We spent at least an hour with her before she kicked us out LOL .

She and the office social worker loved Z's t-shirt.

After 17 years of Z having diabetes, yesterday we learned (1) that when a person is dehydrated with high blood sugar, insulin resistance is exacerbated because of the poor perfusion....so hydration is key to getting the insulin to work; and (2) because Z on his own has significantly reduced his carb intake, his liver isn't producing as much glucose and he's now more insulin sensitive. I assumed it was simply because he is no longer a pubescent teen. These two items my be "duh" for you, but it was new info for us :-).

The Goddess was very pleased that Z's analyzing what's going on and making insulin adjustments. When Z noticed he'd been running low, he decreased the basals across the board and increased the insulin:carb ratio on his own. It was working well for the most part, but the Goddess noticed he needs a bit more insulin:carb in the aftertoon because bg is a higher in the afternoon. Z admitted he often goes 5 days with his inufusion set and she explained why he needs to change it more frequently. He also needs to move those sites more. She was of course pleased his A1C was 5.8...but I'd like to see that number without the lows.

We also told her about the endo we plan to have Z see when he's in Gainesville. She doesn't know the doctor but she'll communicate with him. It's so hard to leave the Goddess. She's still willing to see him through college which is great, but I want him to have an endo at college just to check in and of course for emergencies (poo poo poo - shouldn't give it a ken ayin hara).

All in all, Z continues to feel empowered and does a wonderful job with the diabetes. Of course he hates having it, but he makes the best of it.

I have to end this post now because Z needs me to pay for the housing for this summer. His words "I don't intend to live in a cardboard box on campus." Until next time.......

Humor is good medicine

2006-01-04T23:40:00.000-05:00

Are my arms this long?

Haiku

2006-01-03T18:11:00.000-05:00

A driver's license
Granted one short week ago
She emerged unharmed

New for 2006

2006-01-03T13:02:00.000-05:00

As I end my sabbatical from decluttering and resume in full force, I'm pondering what I will do differently in 2006.

1. Always have fresh flowers in the house. I went to the store and bought 5 big sunflowers and 5 birds of paradise. The clerk told me they don't go together. I asked her to please ring them up :-).

2. Walk on the beach. Here's the beach - 10 short miles due east of our house and I rarely go. When I do go and walk the beach, I feel AMAZING...alive, grounded, in touch with mother earth and connected to the world. 2006 I'll feel that sand between my toes at least 12 times.

3. Exercise at least once per week. This is tough for me. I always start out exercising with gusto, and then quit because I can't maintain the high expectations of doing it frequently and consistently, so this year I'll try for consistency. I'll at least take the bras off the elliptical handles after they are dry.

4. Continue to find interesting international music and blast it on a new stereo. Right now . Rami Kleinstein's Various Sides is playing in my little cd player

5. Take my laptop off my bed! Somehow I will address the Internet addiction this year. I took this test and earned a score of 48. Maybe I can reduce that in half? Internet Addiction Test

6. Go to the theater more often - live music, live productions and movies.

7. Continue to nurture myself.

Seven's a lucky number. I'll stop planning and start implementing. Back to the decluttering and music.

What's positive on your agenda for 2006?

Another sign he's growing up

2005-12-25T16:10:00.000-05:00

Z wanted to go to the park and play tackle football with some friends from school. You have to know that my son has almost never touched a football. So a flood of panic set in - (omg, the Jewish mother freaks) what if someone tackles him and he gets terribly injured? Like a mental case I listed all the things he needed to be careful about etc. Thankfully he tuned me out and recognized the need to go and have fun in spite of MY fears. He properly lectured me that my worry was unhealthy and that I can't worry like this when he's in college. I told him I won't know what he's doing there :-). Z knew how to protect himself and packed everything he needed to take to the park, including syringes and insulin which he has never taken anywhere ever. He felt if the site became dislodged, he could take insulin in the park. (Go Z!). He also brought glucose tabs, some sugary drinks, and he ate a good meal with protein before he left. According to Z, he only caught the ball a couple of times so he came home unscathed, although a good tired from all the running from hours in the park.

I must not have seen it when I loaded the washer yesterday with the towels and other lights...but I heard something banging in the dryer drum. Lo and behold, he finally washed it after years of wearing it to karate and yesterday at football. My son is growing up!

Phobic Neurotic Mother of Teen Drivers

2005-12-22T17:09:00.000-05:00

I have a confession. I cannot be a passenger in the car with either of my teen children driving. I completely freak out. I also can't be a passenger with my husband driving as he is one who nearly falls asleep behind the wheel (probably due to sleep apnea which he refuses to address). When I recognized that my fear of being a passenger is a neurosis, I phoned a local hypnotist who came highly recommended and she told me she couldn't help me because she too is frightened in the passenger seat and very worried in general on the road. A therapist told me I have to recognize that my children are not my husband and to give them a chance. I've been the sole driver for the family for 18 years. I'm petrified being a passenger with my kids driving and yet I know they must drive. I truly have a problem that has to be conquered. This goes beyond the fear of "letting go". Anyone else conquer this one?

Z has resisted driving, although we pushed him to get a permit, take driver's ed in school, gave him some private lessons, and my husband has Z drive when Z goes to karate or around the neighborhood to the stores. Although Z hasn't expressed a strong interest in getting a driver's license, he is starting to acknowledge that he wants to have one. He needs to get one so he can get around and so he can drive to and from the University next year (5 hours from home).

My 16 year old daughter, S, is scheduled to take her driving test tomorrow. YIKES! She did fine as a freshman at 15 when she took driver's ed in school and she's been doing some driving with my husband for a year now. Tomorrow morning I have a driving instructor coming out to give her some last minute tips so she can pass the test. Age 16 is too young for teens to drive alone IMHO, but the state of Florida thinks otherwise. I have visions of my daughter looking in the mirror, putting on eyeliner, adjusting the iPod to find just the right tune as she's turning into a major intersection and then reaching for the cell phone when her friends call. Will she drive with elbows or hands on the steering wheel when there's no adult in the car?

I need H E L P.

Make Sure Your Child Exercises ?

2005-12-20T20:47:00.000-05:00

I just came home from taking my daughter out to dinner at our favorite Thai restaurant. We walked into the house, Z was dripping wet with sweat from doing DDR (Dance Dance Revolution). As he peeled off his shirt, he said it was equivalent to jogging 2.5 miles. Then he said "I'm either going to die tonight or need a Glucagon." He checked bg and it's in the 90s. Then he mentioned he feels like throwing up. How does a mother react to this? Glad I rented 4 movies from Blockbuster today...no sleep for me tonight. Am I hoping the DDR pad breaks before he moves away to college? Not really but @#$% I wish he didn't make that comment. I've got the Glucagon kit next to my bed. I hope he won't need it.

Several hours later: Z & I had an argument over his need to study more for a particular final exam tomorrow. He refused to reduce his basal before going to sleep. I honestly think it's to get back at me.

Children with diabetes die without access to insulin and supplies

2005-12-20T06:34:00.000-05:00

Around the world many impoverished children with type 1 diabetes have virtually no access to medical treatment, limited access to insulin, essentially no access to blood glucose monitoring equipment and strips and these children are dying early after experiencing painful complications. Parents are forced to choose between buying food for the family or insulin for the child with diabetes. How can we as parents of children with diabetes, who have access to cutting edge technology as well as supplies and various insulins, start to support the families around the world who have little or nothing for their children? Surely there is strength in numbers. While I encourage my child to spread his wings, fly, soar, explore and enjoy life, let us together help other children have a similar chance to do so!

Here's a start - Helping Honduras Kids

Clare Rosenfeld traveled with her mother Kari to several countries and witnessed first hand the worldwide tragedy of children with diabetes. The lack of supplies and the conditions under which some of these children live are gut wrenching. Clare wrote a manuscript of her travels but is not online as far as I know. You can read more about her travels here.

http://allafrica.com/stories/200512190226.html
Diabetics Seek Support
The New Times (Kigali) Rwanda

December 16, 2005
Posted to the web December 19, 2005

Vennah Mukuburwa
Kigali

An NGO, International Diabetic Federation (IDF), has asked government and other humanitarian organisations to offer support for children who are diabetic. The call was made by Jacques Niyonsenga, the child sponsorship programme manager for IDF Rwanda, during their visit to a local association of people with diabetes in Kigali-Ngali province, Ruli district. "This programme started with 28 children only, but now the number has increased to 78, yet there are no enough funds to provide adequate medical treatment for them. That's why there is a need for government support: the Ministry of Health should set its programme to support this group," Niyonsenga pointed out.

She said it has been found out that many children in Rwanda have diabetes type one, yet they have no access to medical treatments, although a minimal amount of drugs is provided by IDF free of charge.

IDF is already carrying out a home-to-home sensitisation campaign to increase awareness on diabetes.

It has been said that the campaign is however derailed by the terrain that does not allow easy access to the IDF focal points like schools.

Meanwhile, Dr.Bonaventure Nzeyimana, who is charge of diabetes in the Ministry of Health, advised the association of people with diabetes in Ruli district to engage in developmental activities in order to generate income that can be used to access medical treatment. Schools were also advised to budget and provide medical care for diabetic students.

The International Diabetic Federation started its child sponsorship programme in Rwanda 2004 and intends to increase awareness starting from the family level.

Test Strips Everywhere

2005-12-19T14:34:00.000-05:00

Somehow over the 17 years of living with Z with diabetes, I've come to see test strips everywhere as a good sign because it means my son checks his blood sugar and takes action. On occasion I've asked him to take them out of his mouth and to pick them up , and to stop putting them in the cat litter, and behind sofa cushions, next to his bed, yada yada yada, but now he has to be trained to throw them in the trash receptacle. Unless his roomate in college has diabetes too, the appreciation of the strips mixed with the dust bunnies, will disappear. If only the Freestyle butterfly could swoop down and carry them away. (I do love the double message of this ad ;-)). p.s. When Zack came home from school, I had him vacuum up the strips from the sides of his bed.

Zits

2005-12-18T11:25:00.000-05:00

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/zits.asp?date=20051218

Click on the link above. Don't you just love that cartoon?

As I prepare for Z's departure to college, it's evident our house needs to be decluttered. The painters are coming tomorrow and all the rows of bookshelves are taking up a lot of space in the hallway and the family room. Today I'm boxing up the thousands of children's books Z and I have loved over the years. Z's my reader, tried and true. I'll hang on to some favorites like Charlie Malarkey and the Belly Button Machine, The Salamander Room, and of course all the Roald Dahl books....I don't think I can part with the alphabet books either....HELP. CONFESSION: It's almost as difficult to let go of these books as it is to let go of my son.

Surely there are shelters and day care centers for impoverished children who would love some of our treasury...paying it forward seems like a good idea. Ebay is an alternative; I could hold on to them a bit longer and look at them in the garage...no better not even think of it....

......more later... let the boxing up begin.

12:52 p.m. I chickened out and decided to do the family room shelves before the children's books. I just stumbled upon Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care 40th Anniversary Edition that I consulted when Z was drinking and urinating excessively. Each diaper felt as if he'd been in a swimming pool. After reading about diabetes in the Spock book, ("Sudden weight loss is serious. If a child abruptly loses weight he must have a careful checkup - promptly. The commonest causes are diabetes (which also produces excessive hunger and thirst and frequent urination..."). I told the pediatrician I suspected diabetes. The pediatrician told me "drinking a lot and peeing a lot is an old wives tale." To humor me he checked Z's blood and we were rushed to Miami Children's Hospital with a toddler in severe DKA. Hard to put this book in the box...because it enlightened me...and maybe saved my baby's life. I think today is the first day I opened and closed that book since the day I discovered Z had diabetes.

1:37 - What to do with all the La Leche League (LLL) materials and years of Mothering Magazine? Should I see if anyone at the library would enjoy them, or just put them in the recycling bin? I also found an old draft of my application to be an LLL leader which describes the differences in my experiences first nursing each of my children. I nursed Z until he was 18 months old. He was diagnosed at 15 months and were were instructed from then on he could only nurse with meals...which in retrospect was abhorent advice. His blood sugars were all over the place anyway, the trauma of the diagnosis was sufficient...they didn't need to compound it by altering the nursing relationship. I nursed my daughter S (much more about her in future posts) until she was 3, when she would no longer nap after nursing ;-). For now I'll put the Spock book in the box with the LLL and Mothering mags, but I have lots of other parenting books to give away as well.

7:09 p.m. I filled 10 boxes and have only cleared one set of shelves. Dare I tell you that these are only 1 book deep. I still have 4 others that are stacked to the gills and 2 deep on the shelves. I'm pooped but want to at least get the 10 boxes into the garage to distribute in the future. Some will go to the public library where people give a donation for taking a book, the Judaic books will go to Brandeis Bookstore. I'm still holding on to the cultural anthropology books about nomadic peoples and women of the Middle East but by tomorrow I may be able to part with them. Giving away lots of videos...hopefully somewhere out there are people with VCRs.

Change is good

2005-12-17T12:34:00.000-05:00

We did quite a bit of troubleshooting without a fasting basal check. We reduced basal rate by .2 per hour and changed the bolus ratio from 1:10 to 1:15 and he has gone 24 hours without a low. YAHOO. Change is good. I think the adolescent hormones are gone...now he's moving into manhood (OMG did I just say and acknowledge that in public?). While we're not sure if this reduction in insulin need is temporary or permanent, it's good we're discussing how to analyze the data (in our heads of course because he refuses to download the info from the meter) and discuss how to make the necessary alterations.

This weekend I found an awesome endo for Z for when he's in college. This guy is brilliant, proactive, and actively working on prevention and cure research and right on the campus of University of Florida. Another celebration because I never thought we'd find anyone as good as the current goddess he sees.

Another middle of the night feast sigh

2005-12-16T02:15:00.000-05:00

2:11 a.m. and we're going back to sleep. Z woke with a bg in the low 30s. He made it to the side of the house with the kitchen but said he was weak (forgot to check bg before bed). He usually gets up and treats it on his own but I woke up this time. He had a big glass of juice, two slices of toast with peanut butter, a big glass of milk and 2 tangerines. Decided to take the bolus for a portion of the meal over an hour so he has time for the bg to climb before the insulin kicks in. Thankfully he still wakes up from the lows, but he used to wake when bg was in the 60s. 17 years of diabetes takes its toll. The last year he's lost a lot of his hypo awareness :-(. He needs hypo awareness training. http://www.diabeteshealth.com/read,1023,563.html

The Journey Begins

2005-12-15T21:29:00.000-05:00

My son was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when he was 15 months old. He's now 18 years old and will start attending University of Florida in the summer of 2006. This blog may just be my journey to letting go. After caring for him and his diabetes for so long, I have to transition the last of the diabetes tasks for him to manage and to let him spread those proverbial wings and fly and soar and enjoy. I hope I have raised him to be confident with his care. It's a huge worry for a mom to send a child with diabetes away. When I figure out how to post links separately on the blog, I'll do so. In the meantime, tonight's link is "Preparing Students With Diabetes for Life at College" http://care.diabetesjournals.org/cgi/content/full/26/9/2675

So, I begin this blog.

We had a small discussion tonight re college, drugs and alcohol. I'm fighting denial. I have a good "hand out" to give him...waiting for the right time to sit and discuss it. I don't want to lecture. He's a terrific young man, but I have to help prepare him for being on his own.

BTW, yesterday I bought him a t-shirt at Spencer Gifts - he loves politics. He's not allowed to wear it to public high school, but he will wear it in college. ;-)
It's a picture of Former President George Bush Sr. with a flag behind him. Under the picture is the caption "I should have pulled out."

2005-11-25T00:40:00.000-05:00

Type 1 diabetes is potentially devastating, debilitating and destructive, and it must be cured. Please get involved and help raise awareness of the need to cure type 1 diabetes. I support the Diabetes Research Institute in Miami, Florida. www.diabetesresearch.org .